Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Halfway there.

Here goes my first ever blog post. My mind is usually pretty full, but right now I think it's panicking and blanking.

I guess I'll start with introducing myself. I haven't figured out the finer points of blogging yet, so I'll probably be able to put all this basic info somewhere else when I do, but for now this is where it can go.

So. I'm 19. I'm no longer overweight. That's not to say I don't have a long way to go, but I'm 20 odd kilos down from where I started, and that's an achievement I'm pretty darn proud of! So there's the crux of it. 19, was over weight, now normal weight, but still a little chubby. I'm going to be honest and say I'd like to lost about another 8 kilos. Ideally I'd love to be about 57kg.

I'm going to tell you straight up, I have never been 57kg in my weighable life (as in, over 12 years old!). I'm fairly tall (173cm) and as my sister was always larger than me, I was always told I wasn't big. But I was. I never played sport, never ate properly. Which is how I got to 86kgs when I was 16. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. So right now, I am the smallest I've ever been. My last weigh in showed 66.1kgs, and I know I've lost some since then, I just haven't had access to scales. I've been back at the gym and back to eating well (I took a break for about 6-8 months to snap myself out of impending doom, read: bulimia. Stupidity!). In short, I feel pretty damn good about myself right now.

Lost weight: check.
Overcome eating disorder: check.

Two things some people never manage in their entire lives. See, this is my positive new self speaking! :) Usually I'd beat myself up for being overweight or becoming obssessive about food in the first place. But I've turned over a new leaf. I am flat out refusing to think bad things about myself. If I truly don't like what I see, I'll do something about it, but I wont dwell on it or obsess. I've also stopped being judgemental and negative towards others (in my head of course). If I catch myself thinking something hurtful, I actively stop the thought before it goes anywhere.

Sorry my thoughts seem to be coming out quite erratically. I should probably also mention that my partner has a huge role to play in this new found self esteem. Suffice to say, he is incredible, and I honestly can't believe I managed to find someone so amazing at such a young age. I'm pretty pleased with myself about that, haha.

So I have a feeling this will be a sort of mood diary/food diary/diary diary where I just babble about what I'm thinking, feeling, doing etc and hope that it helps me to make some sense of why I do the things I do. I think it's gonna be pretty exciting!

As of last week I've started personal training sessions, which are great. My trainer is brilliant, and I already know he's going to help. A lot. So training is on Friday mornings, and I look forward to it all week (even though it huuuuurts!). I'd like to keep the sessions up indefinitely. I can already feel myself getting fitter and stronger.

I'll probably have to shush myself soon before this reaches epic proportions, but I should probably quickly mention my goals. Starting one week and 3 days ago I set myself a challenge to lose 6kgs in 8 weeks. I THINK (judging by some dodgey scales) that I lost 1kg in the first week. I also feel pretty slim at the moment, and I'm fairly sure I'm in the 64's somewhere. Can't wait to get my hands on some scales and see! More or less, I think I'm on track.

Things on my wish list right now are new runners (I'd love to be able to run City2Surf next August, which is 14km. I can only run 3-4kms at the moment, and that's on a good day!). So runners. And a HRM, because I'm sick of guessing how much I'm burning off. And because I think it will help motivate me to work harder. And then I would like some GOOD bathroom scales. Ours can be quite psychotic, to be honest. I think I need something more reliable. And a little newer, haha. So that's it; runners, HRM and scales. In saying that, I always need new workout gear.

Okay, I said I was stopping, but I lied.

My goals for right this second are:

1) complete my self-imposed 6kg in 8 weeks challenge.
2) continue to surround myself with positive inspiring people.
3) think NICE thoughts about myself. And if I can't think of any, just stop thinking all together! (Haha).

Shouldn't be too hard, right? We'll see. I think I'm going to need someone to keep me honest! I spend a lot of time on
http://www.calorieking.com.au/ and I love it. I'm part of a challenge to be in a bikini by summer, so I hope I'll get there! I have never worn a bikini in public. In my life. Ever. Nothing. I swim in shirts and shorts. So that would be a HUGE milestone for me, along with wearing a singlet to workout at the gym. They're two things I want to achieve by the end of September, so wish me luck!

Okay, this is horrendously huge, and I think I've forgotten a million things, but never mind. I have all the time in the world to update!

If there's anyone out there in the blogosphere, HI! And thanks for reading this far.

Have a great Hump Day everyone.



  1. Hi :) Found your blog randomly, well done on losing the 20kg so far :)

    I'm on CK as well (swayerm if you use the forums much).

    I'm 173cm as well, but my goal weight is VERY different! I had a dexa scan a few months ago, and have a very high muscle mass, so my goal is 78kg. I am currently 92kg, and 8kg off my healthy weight range.

    Just wanted to let you know how much blogging has helped me in all of this. Getting the thoughts out there, and having a "safe" place to vent about anything, really helps the mental side of all this.
    So keep it up :)

  2. Lol, just realised who you were when I saw your pic.